I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
