They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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