She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
