i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
