there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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