dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she peed on how many people?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline