didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
whats a polygalesbian?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.