you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The struggles of a small town man whore
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.