it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?