i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
