after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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