It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize