I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize