oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
