i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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