Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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