Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
