D3 body, D1 cock
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
