Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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