oh god the rape fog is back!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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