Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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