i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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