Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do herpes really smell.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
