Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
