Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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