Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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(863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm

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(804): View more from Virginia

Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.

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(804): Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift. http://tfl.nu/sb1j

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I sold my books for weed money!

(302): View more from Delaware

Finals don't start for a week...

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(732): I sold my books for weed money! (302): Finals don't start for a week... http://tfl.nu/onx1

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

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(918): And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2. http://tfl.nu/m96w

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(714): View more from California

I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

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(714): I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest. http://tfl.nu/jip9

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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(609): I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied http://tfl.nu/rkdz

Replies (18) Good night (881) Bad night (3987)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.

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(413): What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix. http://tfl.nu/3okt

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass

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(508): Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass http://tfl.nu/5gce

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(253): View more from Washington

Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

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(253): Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style. http://tfl.nu/lnre

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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(940): I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too. http://tfl.nu/vi8f

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(402): View more from Nebraska

At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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(402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.

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(215): the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead. http://tfl.nu/na4w

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(850): View more from Florida

I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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(850): I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud. http://tfl.nu/igxs

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(801): View more from Utah

He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"

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(801): He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick" http://tfl.nu/sbhu

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(941): View more from Florida

We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.

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(941): We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/js7j

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