regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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