People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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