That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.