Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what to say to that.

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(614): I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC. (1-614): I'm not sure what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/ot0k

Replies (29) Good night (821) Bad night (2730)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!

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(262): Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time! http://tfl.nu/qxxi

Replies (55) Good night (3961) Bad night (1145)
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(253): View more from Washington

i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?

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(253): i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class? http://tfl.nu/um7r

Replies (46) Good night (2220) Bad night (4795)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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(416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl

Replies (23) Good night (7643) Bad night (1198)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,

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(484): Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me, http://tfl.nu/qbcn

Replies (16) Good night (2468) Bad night (4297)
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(949): View more from California

We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.

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(949): We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom. http://tfl.nu/b4pt

Replies (24) Good night (6810) Bad night (2178)
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(954): View more from Florida

in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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(954): in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume. http://tfl.nu/xcgb

Replies (8) Good night (3575) Bad night (718)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.

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(202): I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery. (202): That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics. http://tfl.nu/1mv0

Replies (28) Good night (3157) Bad night (1303)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

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(843): I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture. http://tfl.nu/qb04

Replies (3) Good night (994) Bad night (445)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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(704): She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason. http://tfl.nu/coul

Replies (4) Good night (1644) Bad night (1036)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.

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(214): Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/4t9f

Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (605)
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(425): View more from Washington

Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you

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(425): Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you http://tfl.nu/3zbf

Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (432)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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(787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id

Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (546)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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(412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm

Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (384)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.

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(513): It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is. http://tfl.nu/opxa

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (337)

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