The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine