She is in my trunk
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...