Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...