i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's the barista slut.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
