I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
