btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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