he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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