Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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