so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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