i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
