Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
