He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
