his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
