No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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