Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
