Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
