TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
