but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
