You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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