it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
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Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?