The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
