i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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