...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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