i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
