I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
