sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
