In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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