she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it was like eating out sand paper
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize