idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
