Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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