Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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