The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
time to smoke my breakfast
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
