Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
