you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
