SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
