She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
