I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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