The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
