I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
