mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
